Everyone goes through hard times, tough moments or make those heart breaking, gut wrenching decisions. We just went through one of those last week. We had to make the decision to put our beloved Henry down. A choice that was 100% purely for him.
We had inherited Henry from Matt’s grandma after she passed three years ago, But we’ve known him since he was a puppy…A VERY CLINGY puppy 😝 Grandma would even leave the radio on when she left so he wouldn’t be lonely…Even though he had two siblings 😅 Henry has always been a lover…could never have too much attention, not enough head scratches or belly rubs in the world for him. He was a solid, handsome, teddy bear in a mini schnauzer form.
He had “never missed a meal” and never missed the opportunity for any extra treats. He would clean out cat food cans and wait for his sister Hannah (also mini schnauzer) and Peko (Pekingese) to finish theirs and clean up those cans as well. He even figured out how to jump onto the counter tops and would “break In” during the night, usually the bread but one or twice the steel stomach junkie ate an entire dish of brownies. NOT EVEN SICK FROM IT! Needless to say he was extremely food driven. “Where’s that chick?” And he knew it was Chicken jerky treat time.
Sometime during one of his counter expeditions, he jumped off and landed wrong on his front right arm…Sweet boy was never the same. He ended up getting severe arthritis in his shoulder and wouldn’t bare any weight on the arm…basically became a three legged walker. He was on medication for it but still lived a good life…just no more free counter dances.
We got Henny baby when he was 10. His world completely turned upside down. His brother Peko passed suddenly, cat sister Tinkerbell passed and Hannah had to be put down due to getting into rat poison. Then the unthinkable, GG passed. Every one he knew, loved and trusted was gone in the blink of an eye. We were so afraid he wouldn’t make the trip from CA to TN. Matt and his sister Jenny drove with him and he made it…because he was a fighter. He embraced the transition, met his new brother Duke (King Charles cavalier) and he regained some spunk.
The last three years seem to have flown by. Annual vet check ups, some emergency visits and medication changes but he was always ok. He was strong, he wanted to make it. I fed him a special diet, two times a day along with his meds. Chicken, rice, pumpkin, coconut oil and turmeric. He LOVED food time. But the last 6 months seem to have crashed down on him. He could no longer go down the stairs to the backyard so he would go to the bathroom on the back patio. His legs would occasionally just give, no use of them at all, just slide out from under him. His balance was going, he’d hop in a circle, fall over trying to eat or drink. He couldn’t keep himself up to poop so he would fall and step in it. I was having to hold his bowls for him, carry him up and down the stairs, in and out of the house, to and from his bed.
One night Matt and I found small puddles (not drops) of blood, tracked it back to Henry where there were blood clots on his face and bedding but we couldn’t figure out where they were coming from. Veterinarian said she thinks it’s possible he had a stroke or seizure and passed the blood clots. We couldn’t confirm it because he wasn’t strong enough for tests. The last two weeks he was whimpering through out the days and nights, to weak to eat so I hand fed him, had nightly, which turned to daily accidents. We found a huge lump on his bad arm that wasn’t there in November. We went to the Vet to find out he was in the beginning stages of Kidney failure and the mass was definitely not a fatty tumor or abscess. It’s purple cluster cells were most likely Cancer but we didn’t want to put him through the biopsy.
I felt like Henry was trying to tell me that it was getting harder and harder for him to pull through. He was just existing at this point. Only up for potty breaks…barely. He still wanted love, he was such a good boy. He trusted Matt and I to protect him, to love him and to do whatever was best for him. He still gave kisses, with his stinky mug. Look up at you with those big brown puppy dog eyes. You knew he loved you when he looked at you. His forehead pressed into your arm or chest.
We knew we had to take ourselves out of the equation and just make a decision for him, whatever was going to help him. Whatever was going to make him feel better. So we made the choice. Wednesday night we bathed him, fed him rotisserie chicken, Colby cheese and finished with a vanilla ice cream cone. He struggled to eat them. But nevertheless he finished them. We cuddled him because we knew this was our last night with him. Thursday morning after the boys were off to school, Matt and I took Henry to the Vet. I wrapped him up in his blanket and sprayed it with GG’s perfume. I wanted him to feel warm and safe.
Matt and I walked into the clinic, into a room and sat down. I held him the entire time. I couldn’t let him feel abandoned. I didn’t want him to die alone. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. “I’m so sorry”, “you’re a good boy”, “your mommy is waiting for you”, I just kept repeating that to him. Kissing his sweet head, stroking his old man mustache and scratching between his eyebrows. It took about 20 minutes but it felt like an eternity.
Heartbroken is not the word, there is a hollow feeling in my chest, knots in my stomach and an ache I will never recover from. I know he’s in a better place, he’s happy, he’s with his Mama, Hannah, Peko and Tinkerbell but I miss seeing him every morning, every night, our daily kisses and scratches. His bark for more treats, his nub shaking in excitement. His snuggles…or him trying to kick me out of my spot in the bed 😂
A pet isn’t just a pet. They are family. Sometimes they’re the most loyal family you have. An unconditional love that I’m so grateful for.
Handsome Henry, Henny baby, McNubbins, Henners. What a good boy down to the last moment. I’m proud to have been your second Mommy. I’ll miss you forever. ❤️🐾
